J Lazar is writer and educator living in Vermont and Virginia. She has an MFA from Hollins University, an MEd from Harvard University, and has received support from VONA, Tin House, Vermont Studio Center, and Vermont Arts Council for her work. An early draft of her first book, from which this essay is excerpted, received the Melanie Hook Rice Award for Outstanding Nonfiction. Her creative nonfiction has also appeared in Grist. Jenlazar.com.